What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
