My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
