i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
His nipple licking is glorious
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