the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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