sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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