Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If I die, sorry about rent.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
