I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
