You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
