I just cut my nipple shaving
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
