Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
wow bdsm is so cute
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
