a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
