My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
