im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
