I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize