Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
