Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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