he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
