I can't watch pbs sober anymore
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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