how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
