The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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