roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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