We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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