Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
God, I missed his penis.
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