IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
