I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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