Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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