I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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