i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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