There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dick very happy bro
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
