whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just sucked dick on a ferry
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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