I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
