oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
