i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I smell stomach acid.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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