Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
