So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
