There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
two words...techno handjob
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
