I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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