barbara walters just said penis...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
