I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Randomize
