Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Shame - the story of my life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
