Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
