whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
