Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
