do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
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