do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
