I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
