You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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