I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
