i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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