Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
