On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
