she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
