He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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