mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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