Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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