Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
