I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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