I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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