Just fell off a train. Bad.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
