nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
