She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
