dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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