Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
