So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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