I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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